Week 1 of SS25 Foundation League

Alright everyone here’s the deal this is my very first crack at these AGL beat write-ups so if you’re expecting some polished pro journalism you’re gonna be sorely disappointed I’m not here to write like some stiff suit or bore you with stats you can get anywhere Instead I’m here to make you smile maybe laugh a little and definitely get hyped for all the action coming your way I don’t care if you disagree with what I say or if you think I’m over the top because honestly I’m doing this for the fun of it and to share some good vibes If you disagree with me then show it on the ice and put it in your heart as motivation If you’re ready for some lighthearted banter some honest takes and maybe a little roasting here and there then buckle up and stick around because it’s gonna be a wild ride If not well you do you and I’ll keep doing me!

**8:00 PM – Lyme Juicers vs Up In Smoke**

AGL Foundation League Summer Opener – Citrus Dome

The Citrus Dome is primed for Management Night, where the leaders themselves set the standard. On one bench, DankDaddy35 and Steelstepper are ready to “squeeze every drop” out of the Lyme Juicers, while across the ice, cbdpine and StanleysCup aim to leave their opponents “Up In Smoke.” This opener isn’t just about points — it’s about pride, leadership, and making an opening-night statement.

Starting Lineups

Lyme Juicers Up In Smoke

LW: DankDaddy35 LW: cbdpine

C: M Diesel57 C: StanleysCup

RW: SuprDuprDave RW: wagono

LD: DerbyGoat709 LD: BernZomatic

RD: sjackson2324 RD: hksevo

G: britzkrieg26 G: TheNotorious-717

Marquee Matchup: Diesel vs. StanleysCup

This center battle is the heartbeat of both teams. M Diesel57, the Juicers’ engine, thrives on puck possession and faceoffs, while StanleysCup, who leads Up In Smoke both on and off the ice, is a cerebral playmaker who can change the game with one pass.

Goalie Battle

britzkrieg26 (Juicers): 44 GP | 769 SV | 4.44 GAA | .749 SV% | 18-25 record.

TheNotorious-717 (Smoke): 8 GP | 139 SV | 3.88 GAA | .818 SV% | 4-4 record.

Britzkrieg’s experience could tip the balance, but if Notorious catches fire, he has the ability to shut the door.

X-Factor: cbdpine

As one half of Up In Smoke’s management, cbdpine will look to bring instant chemistry with StanleysCup. If this duo clicks early, they could turn the Juicers into pulp before they find their footing.

Prediction

Winner: Up In Smoke

Final Score: 3–2 OT

This game feels destined to be a tight, grind-it-out battle. Expect both management groups to push their squads to the limit, but Up In Smoke’s leadership might just leave the Juicers feeling a little “burned” on opening night.

**8:40 PM – Mighty Trojans vs Ottawa Senators**

AGL Foundation League Summer Opener – Citrus Dome

The Mighty Trojans roll into Game 2 looking to storm Ottawa’s defenses with a mix of veteran star power and rookie energy. Rothwylr and Budbullets headline a lethal top line that has combined for 279 career points, while BusBeanWPG brings physicality with 393 career hits. Rookie duo Darthalas and StaplesGTX will get their first taste of AGL action tonight, looking to prove they belong on the big stage.

The Ottawa Senators aren’t backing down. Stalecracker73 (691 career points) and burnabyjoe_avs19boobie (684 career points) give Ottawa a one-two punch that can shred even the toughest defenses. The big question? Lebig or Lebust? Word around the rink (source: trust me bro) is that lebig1979’s performance might depend on whether his Lululemon crush is in the stands and how crispy his toast was this morning.

Tale of the Tape

Mighty Trojans Ottawa Senators

LW: Darthalas (R) LW: stalecracker73

C: Rothwylr C: lebig1979

RW: Budbullets RW: burnabyjoe

LD: BusBeanWPG LD: Sa_pliskin (R)

RD: StaplesGTX (R) RD: Timbogy

G: Irishboogeyman G: CPGamer82

Marquee Matchup

Budbullets vs. burnabyjoe – Budbullets’ 103 goals in just 52 games give him the raw scoring edge, but burnabyjoe’s veteran presence makes this a clash of proven finishers.

X-Factor

Lebig1979 (Ottawa) – It’s all about lebig or lebust. If he controls the middle of the ice, Ottawa’s forwards will have room to operate. If not, the Trojans’ aggressive style might take over.

Prediction

After simulating 10,000 games (source: trust me bro), the Trojans hold a 52.2% edge, with 4–3 OT showing up as the most likely result. Will the bus be beaned, or will the Trojans take that last inch?

Winner: Mighty Trojans

Final Score: 4–3 OT

**9:20 PM – Motor City Grit vs High Velocity Assault Cows**

AGL Foundation League Summer Opener – Citrus Dome

Game 3 brings a collision of styles: Motor City Grit’s rugged play versus the speed and skill of the High Velocity Assault Cows. GiantKV (32 goals in 20 games) leads the Grit offense with help from Beardmansavior and Smitty0310, while PghFANATIC and Tom2026 lock down the blue line. Rookie goalie Boggs17 will need to stay sharp against a fast, high-volume attack.

The Assault Cows are built to push the pace. Heedlessjem420 (857 career points) is the centerpiece, with Chuckles_17 providing another layer of scoring threat. Rookie winger Bang adds the unknown factor, while PatchTheMob brings a draft-league background and unpredictable goaltending.

Tale of the Tape

Motor City Grit High Velocity Assault Cows

LW: Beardmansavior LW: Chuckles_17

C: GiantKV C: Heedlessjem420

RW: Smitty0310 RW: Bang (Rookie)

LD: PghFANATIC LD: DirtyMoles

RD: Tom2026 RD: Bighoz51

G: Boggs17 (Rookie) G: PatchTheMob (Rookie)

Marquee Matchup

GiantKV vs. Heedlessjem420 – GiantKV’s raw scoring touch meets the all-around dominance of Heedlessjem420. Whichever center dictates the pace will control this game.

X-Factor

PatchTheMob (Cows) – Known for being streaky, Patch can either steal the game or sink it. His first few saves could set the tone for the entire night.

Prediction

The Grit will grind this out, but the Cows’ forward depth and puck speed might be too much in the third period.

Winner: High Velocity Assault Cows

Final Score: 5–3

10:00 PM – Toxic Taters vs Arctic Knights

AGL Foundation League Summer Opener – Citrus Dome

Strap in, grab your snacks, and hold onto your hats because this isn’t just hockey — it’s a full-blown, face-melting, jaw-dropping spectacle that will leave you questioning reality and your life choices. The Citrus Dome is about to become a pressure cooker of pure chaos as the Toxic Taters prepare to fry the Arctic Knights so hard they’ll be skating home on ice cubes. Expect the unexpected, the ridiculous, and maybe even some moments where you’ll yell at your screen like you just saw a unicorn do a slap shot.

The Toxic Taters bring veteran firepower with Jbaum, a point machine with 430 career points who doesn’t just play hockey—he crushes it. lxNighthawk85xl is the crafty playmaker dishing assists like Oprah handing out cars, and rookie Repp3n9 is chomping at the bit to prove he belongs. Their defense—anchored by Schuee27 and Cheese69183—is as steady as a heart surgeon’s hand. In goal, Benchwarmer1314 stands ready to frustrate every Arctic Knight attempt, boasting nearly 200 games and a .798 save percentage.

The Arctic Knights? Well, bless their hearts. With flashes of skill from Cabrelix77 and DarkWarlord999, they’re hoping to survive the storm. Their lineup is sprinkled with rookies, and netminder Chicks-lnl-whips is a wildcard with a respectable .818 save percentage, but tonight might just be a cold, cold night in the Dome.

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Tale of the Tape

Toxic Taters Arctic Knights

LW: Jbaum LW: Cabrelix77

C: lxNighthawk85xl C: DarkWarlord999

RW: Repp3n9 (Rookie) RW: WarfuseTV (Rookie)

LD: Schuee27 LD: Keesh

RD: Cheese69183 RD: NormalBooch4869 (Rookie)

G: Benchwarmer1314 G: Chicks-lnl-whips (Rookie)

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Marquee Matchup

Jbaum vs. DarkWarlord999 – Jbaum’s relentless steamroller offense meets DarkWarlord999’s flashes of brilliance. Spoiler: The steamroller’s got this.

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X-Factor

Benchwarmer1314 – The human wall who will either frustrate the Knights into submission or hold them to a mercy rule that won’t need mercy.

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Prediction

The Toxic Taters will turn the heat up so high the Arctic Knights will be skating on thin ice. Expect a blowout of epic proportions.

Winner: Toxic Taters

Final Score: 7–2

Wanna catch all the AGL game action live? Tune in to the Citrus Dome on kick.com/ItsKinglyme every game night starting at 8 PM EST sharp. Make sure to log in with Irish and ItsKinglyme, bring your friends, and don’t even think about missing it — or we’ll have to come find you. This is where the Foundation League magic happens, and trust me, you don’t wanna be left out.